Me and my son Eddie, and a shot entitled Sit Still.
I can only speak for myself of course, but for me parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Not that it’s all bad. Actually, it’s mostly really, really good. But it’s damn hard, and there are a few very tough moments, where you wonder how you ever got yourself into this position. Anyone with a kid can probably relate to that.
And of course, some kids are harder than others. And some partners are trickier to deal with than others. Actually, I think the thing I find most difficult about parenting is not even the kids. It’s the partner. It’s the difficulty of needing to come to some form of agreement on a whole raft of necessary structures, rules and responses to a virtually unlimited number of scenarios.
My wife and I work well together a lot of the time. We agree on a whole lot of things which makes it a fair bit easier. But we also come from very different backgrounds (actually we come from the other side of the world to each other), and we also have been brought up with very different attitudes. She’s very thoughtful about children and upbringing, and so I mostly defer to her, as she has spent a whole lot more time thinking things through than I have. In fact, I can honestly say that I have never in my life met a person with more respect for children than she has. I admire her for that immensely.
But that doesn’t make parenting with her easy. She can be a real pain in the proverbial. Very stubborn & very idealistic, which is a killer combination. I can be a pain in the ass as well of course, and I’m just as stubborn, but I can’t measure up to her in idealism, and so she always seems to have the upper hand somehow. It’s a done deal that a frazzled pragmatist can never trump a just-as-frazzled idealist. The cards are skewed.
I love my kids. Way beyond words. But putting the family thing together on a daily basis and treating your little darlings with love, respect and patience can be the work of a saint. And that is clearly something I’m not. Nor am I ever likely to attain beatification in this lifetime. I just hope they’ll all be able to put up with me, and that I will continue to grow into the job.
Being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Joyfully, it’s also where I’ve done my best work. 🙂
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